Wednesday, December 6, 2017

My timeshare that is my life

Sometimes I wish I could just stop the world and relax somewhere hidden. Some place that no one could find me. I have thought about running away and living in a tree. But my alters won't allow that to happen. I really want it just to be me, and me alone. I don't want to lose time, I don't want to sit around and say pity me. I think at times my life is going in a weird direction. People are usually going forward, upward and onward. But for me I'm just trying to understand how to move in a straight line. My alters are interesting, each is very unique in there own way. I just hate when I'm in the middle of a tug a war match. BTW, I don't even know this struggle is going on. I could be having a relaxing time watching a movie and then zap I'm in the middle of Walmart. I guess to put it in simple terms, I am my own timeshare. Even though I own the place, I don't get special privileges or rights. In fact it sometimes seem like I'm a burden for them. But you know what, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have this place called Charly.
When I first started to cope with D.I.D. I thought it would be good for us to set some ground rules. The only problem with that was me thinking this was all one big prank. I kept thinking this isn't true, I'm making myself look like a big idiot. But I couldn't deny the whole being zap to another part of Utah. That one would be hard to explain. As time went on I started to except the diagnosis. I have been losing time for a long while. And this would defiantly explain many small things.
Let me break it down for you all. I am a survivor of an alcoholic father. He was abusive, mean, violent, and verbal. I have been dealing wh some issues from my childhood. The issues aren't that easy to push aside. Which is what I would normally do. But no matter what I do to keep them from creeping back in hasn't helped. I'm now at a wall that I can't get over. I see it and look at it but I can't seem to get over it so I can move forward. My father is the source of all the trials I came to face. He didn't give me a very good road to start on.   I know he says he is the way he is cause of how he grew up. And the stories I hear are really pretty bad. But he survived his ordeal, don't you think he should know what that pain felt like? Doesn't he think, "I will not do the same to my own children that has been done unto me?". I guess not since I have D.I.D. today. The thoughts are plenty, and most of them go thru my mind daily. Even today, now that my father is gone, I don't have the comfort to be able to think to myself, "Things are now going to be better".
The faithful day came and my father had passed away. I had so many mixed emotions that I had no clue if I was come or going. The entire ordeal was very numbing. You would think the day that I had prayed for had come, my father died. He was gone and I didn't have to deal with his crap anymore. But then I see my mom crying and there is nothing I can do to help her deal with the lose of a man that made our lives unbearable. How do you tell someone that life is going to be better now. Things will look up! She has been dependent of him all of there marriage. Without him her life was nothing. She is a very strong women and can hold her own but for some reason she can't move anywhere without him. Now that he has been gone for over 14 years she has been able to rebuild her life for the better. For a time I was very worried about her, she had become suicidal.

13 SECRETS NOBODY TELLS YOU ABOUT DYEING YOUR HAIR A CRAZY COLOR

13 SECRETS NOBODY TELLS YOU ABOUT DYEING YOUR HAIR A CRAZY COLOR

YOUR PILLOWCASE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

Artists like Katy Perry and Kesha have flaunted a literal rainbowof hair colors, but don’t let their forever-changing styles (and team of personal stylists) fool you into thinking that dyeing your hair a similar hue will be easy. There are tons of glamorous, colorful locks on Instagram, Tumblr, and so on, but as this set of rainbow hair pics revealed, a lot goes on behind-the-scenes of a really great selfie.
So what’s it really like to have crazy colorful hair? It’s pretty cool, but it also comes with its own set of not-so-cool problems. I understand the struggle well, because I recently ombre’d my black hair into an evergreen-y, teal color. (Shout-out to Latayefrom New York City’s Fox & Jane Salon for tolerating my gazillion questions and nervousness about the bleaching and dyeing process.)
DSC00078
It looks awesome, doesn’t it? The streak of blue-green permanently splattered on the wall next to my shower disagrees. Here’s what you need to know before sitting in the salon chair or opening that box of hair dye:
  1. THE COLOR FADES WITHIN DAYS.

    Color change
    That sassy color retains its original vibrancy for approximately four or five days — if you’re lucky, over a week — until it dulls thanks to the lethal combo of shampoo and conditioner. Even if you use color-safe products, the color won’t last nearly as long as you hope it will. If you’re lucky, it’ll fade to a still-awesome color. If you’re less than lucky, it’ll look like you spent all day soaking your ’do in chlorine.
  2. THE COLOR STAINS EVERYTHING.

    Laundry
    Your pillowcase and towels will never be the same again. When your hair is freshly dyed, it’ll bleed color for the next few washes. Keep your wet hair away from anything white, especially your favorite t-shirts.
  3. IF YOU DYE YOUR HAIR RED, YOUR SHOWER WILL LOOK LIKE A CRIME SCENE.

    Blood
    So much blood red everywhere. Buy some bleach and get a’scrubbbing unless you want to lose your security deposit.
  4. TO KEEP YOUR HAIR FROM FADING, YOU NEED TO WASH IT IN COLD WATER…

    Shower
    This is especially painful in the winter. Eventually you’ll give up and get touch-ups more often rather than face one more freezing shower.
  5. …AND YOU CAN’T WASH IT AS OFTEN.

    Wet hair
    This is both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, you have more time to sleep in instead of showering in the morning. On the other hand, dry shampoo only goes so far.
  6. GLOVES ARE A MUST.

    Blue
    These are especially important if you’re dyeing your hair at home. It takes an eternity to get dye off stained hands, and even styling your wet hair can leave tinges of color behind on your skin and nail beds.
  7. YOUR NATURAL HAIR COLOR DICTATES HOW MUCH WORK YOUR CRAZY COLOR IS.

    Natural hair
    If you’re naturally blond, congratulations! You can dye your hair any color with the least amount of effort, because it’s always easier to dye hair darker rather than lighter. If you have dark hair, the color won’t show up without a generous dose of bleach. It may take multiple rounds of bleaching — in my case, it took three — before your hair is light enough for the color to adhere to.
  8. BLEACH AND SPLIT ENDS ARE BFFS.

    Split ends
    You probably already know bleach isn’t good for your hair, but you don’t realize how bad it actually is until you feel dead straw — OK, maybe that’s an exaggeration — where your hair used to be. Bleach makes your hair thinner, easier to break, and knottier. It’s difficult for me to find a strand that doesn’t end in a split end now, and it takes me double the time to brush out the knotty mess.
  9. BECAUSE YOUR HAIR IS EXTRA-DELICATE NOW, YOU NEED TO TAKE EXTRA CARE OF IT.

    Style
    Heat styling adds to whatever damage your hair is already dealing with. Proceed with caution.
  10. CRAZY COLORS REQUIRE PATIENCE AND COMMITMENT.

    Change hair
    If your hair requires multiple rounds of bleaching, you need to wait several weeks in between each one. Don’t expect to walk into a salon with a color in mind and walk out an hour later with bright blue hair.
  11. PASTEL HAIR IS ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT LOOKS TO ACHIEVE.

    Pastel goth
    Hairstylists are even warning their clients to stay away from DIY pastel hair dyes.
  12. SOME COLORS ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO GET OUT COMPLETELY.

    Bye
    My hairdresser told me that once I go green, my hair will stay some vague shade of green until I cut it off. It’s a good thing I really, really love green.
  13. BUT IT’S ALL WORTH IT! WE PROMISE.

    Diamond
    When you shake out your hair and it’s that perfect badass shade of purple, green, blue, pink, you name it, you’ll feel like angels came down and blessed your hair. Look out, world, nothing can stop you now.

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